archives

A curious fellow died one day and found himself in the long line of judgment. As he stood there, he noticed that some souls were allowed to march right through the pearly gates into Heaven. Others, though, were led over to Satan who threw those souls into a vast burning fire. But every so often, instead of hurling a poor soul into the fire, Satan would toss a soul off to one side into a small pile.

After watching Satan do this several times, the fellow's curiosity got the best of him. So he walked over and asked Satan what he was doing.

"Excuse me, Prince of Darkness," he said. "I'm waiting in line for judgment, but I couldn't help wondering. Why are you tossing those people aside instead of flinging them into the Fires of Hell with the others?"

"Oh, those...," Satan groaned. "They're all from Illinois and Wisconsin. They're still too cold and wet to burn."

I listened to conservative radio off and on the last month or so (c'mon, there is nothing but conservative radio in central Florida... well, besides religious stations), and thusly subjected myself to Rush, Hannity (who many times I thought was Rush) and Dr. Laura many cringe-inducing times. One snippet of Rush, that I recall quite clearly, was particularly fascinating. He had a surprisingly lucid caller named Michelle who was trying to calmly and rationally debate him, and in the span of about 90 seconds (not kidding), he belted out these gems:

1) If you are not a conservative, then you are by definition a liberal (that is a direct quote, by the way)
2) If you are a moderate, then you can have no opinions (he did not even realize that this contradicted #1, which he said 20 seconds earlier)
3) He (Rush) was the founder and national leader of Conservatism (I assume it is capitalized), and he knows everything there is to know about being a conservative.

He eventually tired of the caller, and hung up on her, saying that she obviously did not want to have a debate because she was not listening (i.e. agreeing) to what he said and she kept trying to talk over him all the time (even though he kept interrupting her).

After all that listening, I am amazed that not only do these people have jobs, but that they are somehow respected and considered leaders here in America. They are all ignorant, hate-spewing, childish thugs. Anyone who listens to them regularly should be intellectually ashamed of themselves.